Tom Ray

I’m not necessarily a shy person. I can get in front of people, make a jackass of myself. No problem.

Being a musician, a podcaster & artist I am comfortable with personal work out there in front of people.

When I do those things I know what I like, how I sound and what I want to do. What I think works and what don’t.

Here’s the thing. After all of that is done, need to promote to show people. I know where I want it to be seen and done the work to get it there.

When I try to tell people they should see it and why- with advertisement or social post, I never know what to say. And it always sounds phony.

Hell, get me in a room with people and I’m not shy starting conversations. Why should this part be so hard? I assume this is same reason why not everyone can act. Seems insincere when I do it.

So I’m trying to find that voice. Trying to be able to be myself, even when I’m trying to convince people for the first time.

I hope I find why this stupid thing gives such anxiety?

In my work-a-day, 9to5 life I don’t like to collaborate with people. Meaning, I do something and don’t look for opinion. Not really wanting or need example of another way to do what I did. And its not a secret. Maybe you can relate?

Recently watched the movie “Frank”. About a musician looking for stardom. Finds band that just lost a member and singer has giant paper mache head. You know, the norm.

Our protagonist, the new musician to the group, shows them song he’s working on. They like the idea then step in front of his keyboard and start suggesting, do this or try this as he stands behind.

My Wife turns to me and says “that must drive you nuts!”

You would think. Given what I said before by all means I should hate that.

But I don’t. Not in that situation.

Maybe because creatively I work with like minds I respect and choose to be around. I know they’ll make what I do better.

Work life: you don’t choose people. They’re just there. And end of day I would rather be done doing that.

Make things with people I want to make them with, I care more.

I love when realization happens. Something simple that takes a mundane task or thing you do over & over to a sense of disbelief. Because of something stupid you just didn’t think to do. Your world changes. So many possibilities. All because you were shown something.

This I love.

Here is a current example. Podcasts, I have so many to listen to. I don’t have time to hear all the ones I want to hear. Would need to stop listening to one to replace another just to fit it in. Told a friend this when he recommended a new one to me. Then he says– “that’s why I speed listen to mine”.

What the hell is that? Tells me it’s like speed reading but with audio. Turn the player speed up to 2x and you can fit more in.

I never would have thought of that!

Sure it takes a few minutes to adjust to the way it sounds, but it changes everything. Not bogged down with overwhelming playlist anymore.

This is the type of thing to remember.

When you do something, share how its done. Even if it seems like it’s obvious and you tell yourself, “everyone must already know this”? Because someone is always new at something somewhere and you may just open their eyes to a whole different opportunity.

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I don’t know what it is, but I wait and I wait for summer and feel like it’s never going to come. And when it does it seems like a 3 day weekend that’s almost over to me.

Maybe it’s because I’ve lived in the Midwest my whole life and dread winter as time goes on? July 4 was the first day that felt like summer and historically from days of school it was the beginning of the end. It meant vacation was close to ending. And what have I done by this milestone I always ask?

The strange thing is most times I am very much an “anything is possible” type of person. when weather is the subject I am not.

Weather is a great mood for music. Making things sound like Halloween or gray cold air. And thinking back on times when things seemed that way may put imagery in ones head. Anticipating actual climate change is what I don’t look forward to.

What winter sounds like:

Tom Waits - The Black Rider

The official v0.2 post for the new blog set up.

More later.